Christmas

How is it that Christmas has become so commercialized?  I love my job, but when we hit a major holiday like this, sometimes I wished I didn't work retail.  UGH!  Even at a Christian book store, the customers are all about the gift.  We will be having a much smaller Christmas at our house this year and in a way I am very glad.  I am tired of the commercialism of the whole world.  Its not about bigger and better items.  Christmas is about family and Jesus and spending time together.  I hope others realize this and spend the season celebrating with family and friends.  On the plus side, we have our Christmas lights up and I absolutely love the glow of the tree lights.  I'll try and post pictures on here soon.

Re-Hashing Old Experiences

My dear hubby applied for a job at the Police Department.  Everything would be fine and dandy, but they want to know everything about you from the time you were 17 on.  Houses, family members, groups you belong to, convictions (from traffic violations to anything else,) cars, insurance, bank accounts, debts, facebook, etc.  Also there is places for things like we have been through in the hellish times of our life that he will have to include.  I am not so sure this is the job for him anymore.  Having to list all that out and re-hash all those experiences will not be pleasant.  Sigh.  I'm not sure how this is going to go.  I never thought that all that would come up again, and here it is.  All for a job that I thought I wanted him to have.  :-(  I'm not sure I'm all cut out for this. 

One Year

We have now officially been in our house for one year.  So glad to have a house, but sometimes wonder if we did the right thing by buying a house.  It has been a struggle.  Getting the house was not the struggle, but repairing things that break down in and around a house is challenging.  We have repaired a fallen fence (like a month after we moved in), had the electric box outside replaced and now we are having plumbing issues.  It seems as if we might keep Drano in business!   Neither one of us in very handy, but we sure try, but this bathtub we have might cost us a fortune. The drain gets clogged after one week.  One week.  REALLY!!  I can't buy Drano once a week just to keep the drain clear.  That is ridiculous.  But, short of paying an arm and a leg for a plumber, which is next to impossible right now, we will continue to use Drano once a week. (But not till I get paid, so for this week, we just have to deal with water to our ankles.) 

In other news, Anna is working on schooling with me.  After going all summer long, we took one week off and then started right in on 5th grade work.  (4th grade math)  She is loving it and we are making good progress.  We are still behind in math, but she is mostly remembering what we have been studying.  We have our days, like one day this last week she forgot how to tell time to the hour, which we have been working on since Kindergarten.  She has known that for a long time, but it was just one of those things that we had to re-learn.  She does love horse club.  I wished I could pay for her to do it more than twice a month, but it just isn't possible.  Too expensive.  I also need to find her an orthodontist.  That girl is going to need braces.

I'm still working at the same ol' place.  I'm not exactly happy there right now.  There is a lack of authority there and we certainly need a take charge kind of person.  Oh and to top it all off, the person I wanted to be in our dept I was told couldn't and now the girl they put in will be leaving.  I so just want to say that I was right, but it won't serve any purpose.  I am currently waiting on the results of an MRI I had last week as well.  I sure wish I knew why they ran it.  I will be carrying my phone with me tomorrow at work.  I need to hear from them tomorrow.  Until then, I just worry about what it could be.  I try not to worry too much, but there's not a lot one can do.  At least I worked yesterday and that took my mind off it for a while.  I have been having several health issues lately, and I am trying to get some answers.

J's job is questionable, as always.  His bosses seem to make up rules to suit themselves and then write you up.  They have a common goal to make life miserable for everyone but themselves.  I am hoping that J won't have to be there too much longer, but its hard to look for a job when the one you have emotionally exhausts you, which is sometimes worse than physical exhaustion.

I guess that's all.  Still hard to believe that we have lived in our house for one year.  Still have lots that I want to do with the house too.  As J says we have 29 more years to get it done.  LOL!!  It may take me that long to get it the way I want it.  Now, its off to search for Christmas and birthday ideas for Anna.  She doesn't NEED anything else and we are in an in-between stage for toys and such.  I'll be glad to accept ideas from anyone who may have them.  LOL!!  Take care all.

School Front and then some...

Well, Anna and I will begin school on Monday, if all goes as planned.  We will still be finishing up a bit of last years math, but then will move on.  She is doing mostly 5th grade work.  We will continue to use Building Spelling skills for spelling, Bob Jones Reading 5 will start our year for reading, but I am going to try and change us over to mostly book studies.  We are currently in the planning phases for the first book.  Saxon Math will continue to be our math for now, provided she learns how to copy over the problems correctly and keeps everything lined up.  I'm testing this out, and may switch.  We are still really struggling with math.  She has made great strides though and is progressing, but it is still a daily struggle.  For history and science, I am at a loss.  My time is limited and so are my resources.  We are slowly buying some history books to read, but soon enough we will have to incorporate more.  She will definitely know about the people in history, but as far as geography, well, that is not getting done like I want.  She does read a map, when needed.  We have two large wall maps in our den, but I still think she needs more. Science, well, if you count horse club as science, then she will be getting science twice a month, LOL!!  Those are two big barriers.  We only have so much time with my full time work and homeschool group activities.  I will have to keep searching for something.  It will all work out, just writing it all down. 

As for other stuff, work is okay.  Things are changing and not everything is nice.  I work and that's all fine and dandy, but working with people who lack work ethic and morals is hard.  We have mostly a good crew, but not all.  It is a very demanding job and sometimes it just drains me completely.  The other day was good though.  We have a lady who homeschools and she came in and she is always uplifting to other homeschool moms.  It is always so encouraging to hear her talk to other moms about homeschooling and it shows that she has a true passion for it.  The other day I told her that and she just was over-joyed and happy that I work there and that I know what product we have and where to find it.  She made my day and she told me I made hers and that it was such a blessing to have me there.  I wished there were more days like that.  I really needed that this week.  She was such an encouragement to me.  I certainly need to hear encouraging words everyday.  It helps me cope with the stresses of life.  It helps me to also realize that other homeschooling moms have struggles too, even if it isn't the same as mine. 

Health wise, I am doing better in some respects.  The hysterectomy was a life saver.  I am glad that I had it done.  My RA has its ups and downs.  I have new things with it that have been bothering me lately, but I am trying to deal with it the best I can.  I am hoping to see a new RA doctor in Odessa as I am not crazy about the one that I have been seeing.  He is not good at all.  (We have nick named him Dr. Quack as he did not treat me right until I had insurance.  He actually refused.  Sad, huh?!)  Anyhow, as much as I hate to drive to another city almost two hours away, I need someone who takes a personal interest in me as a person.  I have a life to lead and would like to lead it in the best way possible.

I guess that's all for now.  I have three girls running the house and it is almost shower time.  (Anna is having a sleep over.)  I will update again in a few weeks, after we start school and things return to an almost normal again. 

Literal Life

VERY PERSONAL STORY-AUTISM RELATED-if you can't handle Autism and the life that comes with it, quit reading.

Everything in Anna's life is literal.  She doesn't see two sides of anything unless you show it to her.  From her reading to things people say, she only sees things one way...her way.  Recently I've toyed with the idea of putting her back in school, but I just can't seem to make that decision.  We took Anna for a Doctor appointment with her developmental specialist this past week and she again reminded me that homeschooling is the best choice for Anna.  She said, "That's the best thing you can do for her."  It made me feel a bit better, but I still have toyed with the idea the rest of this week.  I've bought her curriculum for next year, not knowing if I was going to use it or not.  I wanted to be prepared and keep it as cheap as possible.  Well, last night I had an epiphany.  No matter how hard school is, or how hard our life gets, she needs to be homeschooled.  With her literal view of everything, and the older she gets, she will become a target for people to use her.  She will be an easy one for people to say, go do this for me.  Since she doesn't see that some people don't have her best interest at heart, it could lead to trouble, because she will do whatever they ask and then think about it a lot later.  We already see some of this with her "friends" she is hanging out with, but we can more closely monitor that.  She needs some processing time.  Sometimes it takes her weeks to process things.  I will find out things a week or sometimes several weeks later, because it took her that long to fully process what is said.  She has these same issues in school which sometimes challenges our days to the max.  We sometimes have to move on for that day and continue the next day.  She gets very frustrated with us when she doesn't understand things, but we also sometimes forget that she needs this processing time and get frustrated with her.  We are all only human.  We try hard to be compassionate and there are some days that it just doesn't work out.  Things do eventually work themselves out, but not always in our time. 

So, anyhow, back to that homeschooling bit.  I will continue to do it as long as I feel it is necessary for my daughter.  She will feel successful.  She will not be put down.  We will not have people taking advantage of her and using her for their benefit.  She is our daughter and we will do whatever we think we need to, even if it is a big challenge and very hard sometimes.  We will continue to remind her that movies are not reality and we will continue to try to get her to see two sides to things that she needs to see two sides.  We have made great strides already and I have no doubt that we will continue to make great strides, even if we are slow to achieve them.  This is all a prat of our life.  We will do the best that we can with it and with the daughter we have been completely blessed with.

Surgery Done

Well, I am now 4 days post hysterectomy.  I am glad to say that I was home by lunch time on Friday, less than 24 hours after the surgery, unlike my previous surgery, where I had 4 days in the hospital.  Overall, things went rather well.  The robotic surgery was much easier and less painful than the traditional surgery.  I'm very glad that the surgery is over.  Now, I will be even happier when the pain from the surgery is gone too.  This was definitely easier than previous one, but still, recovering from surgery stinks.  LOL!  They discovered a very enlarged uterus when they went in to pull it out.  The thing went from one hip to another, literally.  They also discovered adenomyosis, which was the reason for most of my issues.  I had fibroids in there as well as cysts again.  I will never be plagued with those issues of pain again.  That in itself makes me a happy camper.  Now, if I could just hurry up and wait for this recovery thing to be done.  LOL!  I'm not a patient waiter.  I've watched more TV since my surgery than I care to admit.  I'm all caught up now.  Seen several episodes multiple times. 

I guess that's all.  We have started back to a school routine today, even if it was on the couch and things seem to be going fine.  I'll check back on here later.  Take care all. 

What a Couple of Months

Well, we have had quite an interesting couple of months.  We opted to get another dog about 5 weeks ago.  She was a cute little thing and we changed her name to Callie.  (I'd post a picture, but that means I'd have to get them off the camera.) She was a sweet cuddly dog at first, but showed aggression to Wall-E.  It was minor at first, but as the weeks progressed, the aggression seemed to be getting worse and Wall-E was wearing bite marks and scratch marks from her all over his belly.  She then decided that she hated Jeremy one day while he was trying to clean up her poop mess from the den and wouldn't let him near it to clean it up.  She attacked Wall-E, who was just coming in to investigate.  Sigh.  This was the final straw.  We had to give her back.  But that in itself turned out to be a long lengthy matter.  Let's just say for times sake and so I don't have to explain the whole thing, that she is back at the shelter she started from, who said she was always supposed to be an only dog.  Sigh!  The things we find out long after the fact. 

(WARNING FOR MALE READERS---TMI coming up)

I am heading in for surgery on the 5th.  Yes, in two days.  After much pain and deliberation and heartache and sadness, I am having a hysterectomy done.  Pain is the big deciding factor in this decision.  The cycles were causing too much stress, heartache and pain.  They are/were flaring my RA to crazy ridiculous levels of pain.  Heartache and sadness, well, put anyone in my position who wanted a baby and know that this method is now forever out of reach and it is bound to cause some heartache.  Aches at knowing that this will indeed never happen, as well as aches of know that you will never give a family to your loved one like her wants.  It is what it is.  My husband and I decided this together.  Anna was also included in the decision.  This is what is best for me health wise and my family. 

Unfortunately, I will be off work for a few weeks and will likely go crazy at home.  I will also be missing the big sale at work, although I will need to go buy something that day for our homeschool.  It will be that last book we are missing, so that won't be too bad.  (Under $20) 

I guess that's the shortened version for now.  I have better news from our family day trip on June 22nd, but that will come later.  (Again, the pictures are on the camera. LOL) 

A Rough Life for the Dog

This has been a rough 4-6 weeks.  There are ticks really bad outside.  The dog has had them, not a lot of them, but enough.  We thought we were almost rid of them, and then boom they came back yesterday.  The poor dog has had about 5-6 removed in the last 2 days.  To top it all off, I found them in the bathroom, on my bed and just now took one off me!!  YUCK!!  I've washed all the bedding, pulled up the rugs (can't really pull up the carpeting) and washed the dogs beds.  I have sprayed everywhere for bugs, changed my shirt, vacuumed off the beds and floors and now I'm just not sure what else I can do.  I am sick of this already.  I have already treated the outside 2 weeks ago, but it doesn't seem to be helping.  The dog will be getting a bath before he gets all his bedding back.  He has had a bath almost every week, except last week, which may be why they came back.  Is there any sure fire way to get rid of the darn things.  My skin is crawling thinking I'll find another one on me.  It really was gross.  Sigh.  Guess I just want them gone.  If you have any good ideas, let me know.  Maybe I haven't tried that one yet.  Thanks.

Hmmm.

Wow!  Not sure I like new blogger layout for posting.  Looked the same till I went to post.  Now I'm way confused...but, thats not why I'm posting today.  I'm posting about Autism.

Yes, Autism.  Did you know that April is Autism awareness month?  It is.  We did the walk for Autism awareness on Sunday.  It was hot, but fun.  Did you also know that dealing with some parts of it can be challenging on a day-to-day basis?  It can.  Some people have more of a challenge than others.  Sigh, anyways, I'm really writing to vent some feelings.

We found out that my daughter dis-obeyed us yesterday.  It is going to cost us an extra $25 in fees for what she did.  Sigh.  Now comes the hard part.  I am not 100% sure that she did it on purpose.  She told us she understood when we were going over the rules of this new item.  She recited things back to us, but it never sunk in.  Anyways, so yesterday we allowed her some freedom and instead it came back to bite us.  She did exactly what we tole her not to do.  She must have done it all day too, cause like i said, we have an extra $25 in fees from one days work.  I took the item and modified it and password protected it so that hopefully it won't happen again, but then came the punishment phase.  Sigh.  Even if she honestly didn't remember why she did it, we had to punish her.  So, for the next however long it takes to pay us back, she will be working it off.  No allowance for her until it is all paid in full.  This could take 2-3 months to pay back.  Sigh.  It is so hard to punish her when she honestly doesn't always have a clear thought in her mind.  It is really a parental dilemma.  I am trying to help her learn how to do right and act right, but sometimes she makes wrong decisions and she can never tell us why.  She can't even tell us when she feels bad half the time, you have to use her visual clues to figure it out.  So, I'm just torn half the time.  Yes we discussed why she did wrong, but is it really sinking in.  I wonder sometimes.

I know some people will never get this.  Some might, but most of you have kids who can describe how they feel, act right in all social situations, have no delays, and no sensory issues.  Sigh.  Just a little vent.  Not really going anywhere with this.  Just needed to get it out.  I better go, so I can encourage my lovely daughter through school time.  I do love her very much.  Nothing would ever change that.  I just am frustrated right now.  I'm human.  If you don't like it, don't read here anymore.  Sigh....

Busy/Sick/Busy

Well, sorry for the complete lack of posting. I spent all of February and half of March sick. I went to work, to the Doctors and basically did little else. My house was really showing it after 6 weeks. Thankfully, it finally passed after two rounds of steroids. I love those things and hate them all at the same time. They kicked it though, so I was fine with the side effects. Thank goodness that's all done.

As far as busy, we have been running like crazy. I don't get the luxury that a lot of homeschooling moms get in that I can not be a stay at home mom. I must work. We need my income. Forget need, we have to have my income or we would never eat, or have a place to live or clothes to wear. You know, things like that. It is a vital part of our household. Sigh, but anyways, it is very tiring and I get physically, emotionally and mentally drained. Especially when I have issues to deal with at work. With the cost of things going up, it really scares me as well. We manage, but we will be struggling again very soon with all the cost of living increases.

Homeschool group is going fine. We enjoy going and enjoy the people there. Anna absolutely loves her classes. I absolutely love being with the babies. Its almost therapeutic for me to be with babies. Holding a baby is like good medicine. There is nothing better in the world than a baby cuddling with you and falling asleep in your arms. I love every minute of it. I'm hoping that I can be with the babies again for at least one class period.

Things at home have been busy too. When you are down sick for so long, it takes a while to get the house back in order. And with school, church, work and homeschool group thrown in, it takes a little bit longer.

Anyhow, it just has been a while since I had time to sit down and write, but I'm glad to finally be able to do so. I'm also glad that I'm feeling better. As for school, we will be going through July or August. There will be only a one week break in there for horse camp. With the way we have to do school, there is not time for breaks. We will have to work through them all. I better go, speaking of school, because we need to do school today and run some errands. Chances are we will only get through the reading, spelling and math, but that's ok. We will complete our course eventually. I better go. Take care all. And if you are actually still reading this blog, thanks. I know I hardly ever post. Gotta go. Bye

Not sure what to do...

At what point do you let your child investigate (search) for things online on their own and not worry about the "trouble" out there waiting to find them? Anna has been looking at and researching ok things online, but she was told something at "school" over a year ago that she had to research on Netflix and we do NOT in any way want her looking at this content or anything like it again. So, now the question is, how much freedom do we give her online. We've blocked a lot off her iPod Touch, but she is not always with us. Sigh. Just not sure where to go with this. She hasn't been at a public school in a year. Well, almost and she is just now remembering things that were said to her there and trying to find out for sure if they are real. Just scary content that she doesn't need to deal with.

Sad...

All the hurt and pain I go through each time someone has a new baby, no one will ever know...I feel excited for them and love the new baby, but deep down inside I am hurting....Its something no one will ever understand....

Happy New Year

or something like that...

*Trees are down.
*Ornaments are wrapped in tissue and put away.
*Lights are off the outside of the house.
*Everything is packed up and in the storage closet.
*Living Room is Vacuumed and Arranged appropriately.
*Dishes are Done.
*Laundry is Almost Done.
*School planning for new semester is beginning.

I guess that's about all there is. Gotta go.