Big Issues or Debates? Need Prayers!

The big debate is school, housing issues, amongst other stuff. Let's start with school, not mine, Anna's. Do we continue to homeschool her, or do we put her in a school. Honestly, if we could afford it, there is a GREAT private school just down the way that I would love for her to go to, but we are not made of money and we can NOT afford things like that, so we are stuck with the decision of public school. Don't get me wrong, public schools are great for some people, but I am not really crazy about the idea. I LOVE to homeschool Anna, but are we truely making the right decision for her best interests. She love people and loves being with other kids constantly. If we didn't have all the issues a few years ago and such, I don't think this would be that hard of a decision, but the thing is we DID have those issues and we are living with the results of them. One of my results from it is a constant fear that something can happen to Anna. I could never live with myself if something did happen to her and things do and can happen in a regular school. If you know our story, then you know where I am going with this, but if you don't, I really am not ready to elaborate on this issue yet. It has hurt me in more ways than anyone can imagine. After what has happened, it is hard to not live with some kind of fear of people and things that could happen. I am trying to get past this issue, but it is VERY difficult for me. It was a life changing experience that I do not wish on anyone. In any case, the results of this are something we must live with for the rest of our lives. Am I homeschooling out of selfish reasons and the what ifs? Maybe, but I am trying to look out for Anna and what is best for her. I love homeschooling her, but is it all we can do? I know to some of you, I am just rambling on, but if you have any thoughts, or prayers, I sure could use them.

The other issue is our moving. We know we have to move, but I just can not get that feeling about anywhere that it just seems perfect and it is just right. Its usually not that difficult for me. I am almost always ready for a move like this, but I have no peace about where is the right place to live. It is very difficult to search for a place and not find your heart in any of them or just know that "this is the one." I guess that this is still yet to come.

One more thing, not that I needed any added stress, is my mother's appeal for disability was denied, yet again. Her primary neurologist refuses to change the findings in his report because he hasn't seen her in the last month. He is 6 hours away. I am sure it is really feasible to just go visit him to get this changed. I am working, my husband works, etc. It is just not that easy. This wouldn't be a problem, except my mother has no money and her lease is up at the end of February. It is paid in full until then, but we have no necessary means to help her. I can't just pull $525 out of the air to pay her rent until this appeal gets fixed. We barely have enough to make ends meet at our place and that is with family help. We are turning in more paper work to hopefully get her seen by a doctor in this area, but there is no telling if we will get approved for this. Without her getting this disability thing through, it is putting me in a very tough position. She will have no where to be or go, because the same time her lease is up, is the same time we are scheduled to move. Am I supposed to move her too? Where and how? She is not able to live with us because she has two cats and Jeremy is highly allergic to them. Those cats are her babies and her life, so I know she will not get rid of them. That is not a possibility, but I am at a loss as to where to get help and how much longer I can keep going trying to help get more help. This also needs prayer.

Anyhow, as you can see, I have a lot on my plate at the moment and they are overwhelming issues. I am not sure what to do at the moment on any of these issues, but I am praying that something BIG happens on these things. I have a strong feeling that the homeschooling issue is closely related to the others and my emotions. I guess I felt that if I worked longer I might be able to pay things for my mom to keep her going? I don't know. Anyhow, any thoughts or prayers on these matters would be greatly appreciated. Thanks if you read this far for reading my mini novel today. God bless!