School's out....sort of...

Well, I did it.  I survived my first year back in teaching after being out for 7 years.  It was by God's Grace that I made it.  I spent the majority of this year sick and it was very hard and trying and I almost quit quite a few times.  It was hard on me emotionally, physically and mentally.  Being sick and my emotional well-being are how Satan has been trying to attack me.  It's hard.  I keep on and kept on getting struck down.  Thankfully, after we got rid of the mold in my bathroom, which seems to be a big part of why I was so sick, I haven't had all the issues with breathing that I usually do.  Dust will still get me down, but nothing has been as bad as the mold did.

Anna just finished up her 5th grade year in school as well, but unfortunately did not pass the state standardized test in science, so she has to go to summer school.  I am praying that she passes the objectives quickly, because then hopefully we will be done at the end of this week.  I was looking through old tests that are released on this subject and know for a fact that they have not covered all the concepts on the test.  Unfortunately for us, this test covers everything that she should have learned from Kindergarten on up through 5th grade.  And another unfortunate thing is that I never taught her science on a steady basis when we were home-schooling, so she did miss out on quite a bit.  We are going to practice as much as we can between now and Thursday and hopefully she will pass all the objectives on the end of week test.  Due to her being in summer school, I will also be teaching summer school in 1st grade, but only for one week.  If Anna still has to go, I will not keep teaching.  I need that break.

Health wise, I am only so-so.  I have been have a LOT of joint pain and weakness, overall tired feeling, headaches, muscles aches and stomach issues.  I am progressively getting worse, but I have decided that it may be due to a new medicine that I started a month ago.  I didn't really put two and two together until last night.  Symptoms are all there.  It makes me sad that it didn't work, but I'd rather not feel like I've been hit by a truck.  I'll be calling the doctor tomorrow to make sure, but pretty sure I'm getting off of it.  I've also been diagnosed with endometriosis in the last two weeks and will be starting a new shot for that.  Yes, it is rare to get it after a hysterectomy, but not impossible, since I still have my ovaries.  Apparently taking them out is not a cure all and it is highly likely that it will stay or come back, so the shot it is.  Sigh.  I can't seem to catch a break on this whole health thing.  I get tired of feeling lousy all the time, but also know that it is just something or something else lately that I have to deal with.  I get the treatment that the Doctors want to give me and then pray it works.  I try very hard not to let the health issues get me down, but sometimes its hard.

I guess that's all for now.  Hoping that this week goes by quickly and that Anna is done with Summer school after this week.  We both need a good break.  If nothing else we have a good trip to Dallas coming the end of the month.  Ready for that break.  

No more homeschool

Sad day for me, but I have officially removed myself from most homeschooling groups.  I have signed a new contract for next year, so I decided it was time.  We loved our homeschooling years and will never regret going broke to stay with Anna and do what we thought was best for her.  We met a lot of great people on the way and had lots of fun, but it is officially on to a new chapter in our lives.  Anna is doing good in school.  I will teach somewhere between PK and 2nd grade next year.  Exciting and scary all at the same time.

New Year Update

First of all, today is my hubby's birthday.  He is 39 years young today.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!  I love you and the tank looks great.  (He redid his aquarium today with sand instead of gravel.)


Second, I am clear of pneumonia.  Praise the Lord my lungs are completely clear and my breathing is back to normal.  I am still taking 2 breathing treatments a day, but I can handle that.  I have been back to work for a week and a half.  Besides being exhausted, which is perfectly normal for me after a long day of work, I have suffered no ill effects from the pneumonia.  I am so glad.  On the down side, I was docked for 3.5 days of pay.  That is going to hurt, but we are not worried about it. 


Third, I had a doctor visit with my RA doc.  Anna and I waited for over an hour past my appointment time to get back.  UGH!!  I can't stand long waits, but unfortunately, I can't go at another time right now because I can't ask off work, since I have no days left.  The best I can do is leave early.  So...long waits it is.  The doctor agreed with me the the meds I had been on are not a good fit for me and for the time being I am off of them.  I will not go back on them as they were lowering my immune system too much and were part of the reason I have basically been sick since September.  I am glad that he agreed.  I will however remain on the Plaquenil and pain pills and we will add in a different new medicine at a later time.  He and I both felt that since I have been doing okay on the Plaquenil alone that we would let it be.  I am glad he agreed, because I took myself off the other meds right before Christmas.  Now the only odd thing was that he knew I had been in the hospital and I KNOW for a fact that I never told him.  Weird, but okay. 


I guess that's all for now.  I am praying that the worst of my sickness for the year is over.  I had the flu and pneumonia shot before I left the hospital, so hopefully that will help.  By not being on the other medicine, I am praying that my immune system rebounds.  I hope everyone has a very Happy New Year.  It may be 3 weeks into the year, but its still Christmas in our house.  I am not in a rush to take it down, so if you come over, don't be shocked.  LOL!!  I hope to check back in soon.  Take care.  God Bless!

Happy (cough) New (cough) Year (cough cough)

Happy New Year.  I brought the new year in with a bang.  I was sick for the entire Christmas Break with a head cold.  I went to the Doctor this past Monday with a fever and a cough and was diagnosed with Bronchitis again and prescribed antibiotics.  I ran fever through Wednesday and coughed and coughed and coughed!!  On Thursday night, I ended up with very labored breathing and by Friday early morning we were on our way yet again to the ER for some extra help.  I assumed I would get a few breathing treatments and some steroids and be on my way.  Boy was I wrong.  It turns out I had pneumonia and I was admitted for treatment.  They gave me IV antibiotics, two different kids and I received IV steroids for a day as well.  I was released today after nearly 4 days at the hospital.  Yeah, happy new year, huh?  Now I'm home, but I am not back to work until next week.  I was released for Monday.  We will see how it goes.  Praying for a complete healing and the ability to get through the rest of the school year without incident. 

More Sleet, Snow and COLD!!

Ok, I've decided that we have had enough snow, sleet and cold for a long time.  It's been just about two weeks since our last round of cold and ice storms and here we are again with another.  It was mostly sleet and ice.  School dismissed at 12:00pm today and the Lubbock teachers were allowed to leave at 11:30am.  As soon as I had coverage in my room, I rounded up Anna and we made the slow treacherous journey home.  A drive that usually takes us 45 minutes took us almost 2 hours today.  Not too bad and certainly could have been longer, but I HATE driving on ice.  Completely hate it!!  It's scary how many people passed me at unsafe speeds.  The roads were almost all covered in ice.  We drove 20-25 MPH all the way home.  It wasn't until we were 5 minutes from Lubbock that we could drive faster, 30-35 MPH in town.  The sad part is that all that was slush in Lubbock has now frozen over and will probably stay that way for the next 2 days or so.  Sunday it should all melt down again and be okay.  I'm glad I have a job, but having it so far out is not so fun, especially in this kind of weather.  I'm actually praying that we have classes cancelled tomorrow morning and that I do NOT have to drive this again tomorrow.  If I do, it will be about 2 hours to drive in and about 2 hours to drive back and I will have to stop at a gas station at some point because I used more than I planned today trying to thaw off the car.  Sigh.  Just complaining, I guess.

On a plus side, my evaluation was done this week and I did really well.  I am pleased, especially since I've been out of the classroom for so long.  I obviously still have some teaching in me.  LOL!  I never really stopped teaching, since I homeschooled for so long.  I miss it a lot and when I asked Anna, she said she misses parts of it.  I think she really just likes that there are other kids around her all day everyday.  She too hates the long commute every morning, but we are in it for the long haul this year.  Who knows what next year will bring. 

Guess that's all for now.  Need to wind down with some gaming time and get to bed.  Night all. 

Brrrr....

Baby it's cold outside!!!  I am ready for normalcy.  Anna and I have been in the house for two full days.  Tomorrow will be three.  My initial plan right now is to drive up to Post tomorrow afternoon and spend the night in a hotel.  This is of course all dependent on the roads.  We are expecting 2-3 inches of snow tonight and they are advising all of us to stay off the roads.  Praying that we don't have to miss another day.  Anna and I missed on Friday because of the weather.  We got up at 5am with the intention of going in.  We were in the car by 6am and trying to be on the road by 6:20am, but we just didn't get there.  The roads in Lubbock were okay, but when we got to the highway we travel to get to school, I could not keep my windows clear of ice.  The sleet was immediately sticking to the windows, despite my defrost being on high and my wipers going full blast.  We had pulled over 3 times before we hadn't even gotten to the prison, which is about 10 minutes out, and I just could not keep them clear.  To top it off, the highway was icy and it was dark.  Black ice and dark do not mix, so I decided it was in our best interest to turn around and go back home.  I spent the better part of an hour after we got back trying to find a sub for my class to no avail.  There was not one that was able to go in at all.  My aide was already out because her daughter was sick and she also could not get a sub.  My class ended up getting split between the other three teachers.  I felt awful and cried for over 2 hours because I felt so bad.  Using my last day of sick leave because of weather was not what I had planned.  I was very upset about that, but then the weather got worse and I was very glad that I was at home and didn't have to drive in the worsening conditions on the road.  We have stayed home since then.  J got sent home at around 1:30 to 2:00pm.  I was glad to have everyone safe and sound at home.  I am also very glad that we have a working heater. 

Tonight, the sleet is back and we are expecting more precipitation.  I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but I will have my eyes watching the news and checking things fully before I drive that way.  I'm hoping it'll clear up a bit, but not counting on it.  We can't afford for me to be docked a full days pay for missing, so here's hoping....

Overwhelmed

Been feeling a lot overwhelmed lately and like I don't belong in the classroom.  Today was a particularly rough day.  I have random thoughts come into my head and make it hard for me to believe that I belong in the classroom.  Sigh.  Kids have also bee off the wall crazy this week with Halloween and all.  I tried to keep our "Halloween" related activities to a minimum.  I changed books we were reading, found some of my own activities, etc.  We did make masks, but that's more for fun.  We also did lots with pumpkins, but other than that, I really tried not to do too much. 

But I digress, back to the reason I started this post...I'm having a particularly rough year.  I know part of it's because I received no training from the district at all.  The other part is because I am relying solely on other people to plan lessons and since we aren't really ahead, it makes it hard.  They have a curriculum that the school adopted, but other than some of the literature from it and the tests for beginning, middle and the end of the year, it does not get used.  I can see why, as the literature parts are great, but the rest is not really easy to use.  You can't really take great stories and make a curriculum out of them.  So, since we are all "on the same page" or doing the same thing, we meet every Tuesday to plan.  I can't possibly get everything I need on my own to make the curriculum work in such a short amount of time, so I just get a few things and "share" with other teachers things that belong to them.  It gets old borrowing all the time....really old.  I can't afford to buy everything that they have though, so I have no other options.

My aide is great too, but I get the feeling that I am not using her as much as I should be, but there we are back to the no training thing, so I really don't know what I am supposed to be doing.  The other teachers always say to let the aide do it.  The aide is there to help me in my opinion, not do all my work for me.  She does a lot for me, copying, laminating, cutting out, crowd control, etc.  I do not feel like adding to her responsibilities is fair. 

And my number one source of being overwhelmed right now is the nagging fear in the back of my head related to our past.  :-(
I can not get this horrible thought out of my head that I do not belong in the classroom and something terrible is going to come up and I will be fired on the spot and not be allowed to teach ever again.  Sigh.  It's not a good feeling.  I don't know why it keeps coming back, but I've had enough.  Just the thoughts put tears in my eyes and that's easy to do lately. 

Alright, its bedtime.  Will post more tomorrow, but falling asleep here typing.  Prayers still very much appreciated.  This is hard for me still.  Thanks all.