Doubt?...Couldn't be!!

Lately I have been doubting whether homeschooling is right for our family. Is this really what is best for Anna as well as for myself. I mean let's face it. Homeschooling is tough. Its hard. Its a lot of work. Its tiring and exhausting. Well, wouldn't you know God has a funny way of telling me that we are supposed to do it. I recently signed up on website for homeschooling parents. I was checking out their curriculum and in order to fully access some features, we had to sign up. Anyhow, I signed up and also started receiving their daily devotional. Yesterday I got this one:


Poor, Pitiful Me
Tuesday / June 29, 2010


"O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: because his mercy endureth for ever" (Psalm 118:1).

Standing in the basement doing laundry, I wondered, "How much of your life do you sacrifice before there's nothing more to give?" I was missing a beautiful summer day outside and feeling frustrated that there was so little time for the things I enjoyed. I dreamed of relaxing in the sun with an ice cold glass of lemonade and a good book or riding my horse into the open pastures near our ranch. Homeschooling seemed to be consuming my entire life, and each day I felt a little more drained. If I wasn't teaching my children, I was cleaning their messes. Would there ever be time again for me?

Self-pity is a destructive force in a person's life because it fails to acknowledge God's goodness with a grateful heart. The Hebrew nation's constant grumbling is a prime example (Psalm 106:25). For over 470 years, they cried out to God for a deliverer to rescue them from bondage in Egypt. When deliverance finally came and Moses led them to the Promised Land, they continued to complain, even to the point of longing to go back to Egypt. Although God had proven Himself mighty with miracles and provisions, they failed to be thankful for His loving hand of protection.

What about you? If the demands of homeschooling have you down, stop your personal pity party and think again about what the Lord has done. Your days might be busy, but God has blessed you with incredible opportunities to change the world through your children's lives. Let praise and thankfulness replace your "poor me's" and watch as God blesses your faithfulness in serving Him as a homeschooling parent. "I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth" (Psalm 34:1).

Father, forgive my selfishness when I fail to appreciate all You have given to our family. Lift my heart today and help me to focus on the things in life that are truly important. In Jesus' name, Amen.


Yeah, I know....slap in the face, right? Well, even after this I still had my doubts. I mean I know it is what I want to do, but like I said....IT IS A LOT OF HARD WORK!! Well, anyhow, if that wasn't enough for me, this morning I open my e-mail to this little number:

Unfulfilled Days
Wednesday / June 30, 2010


Do homeschooling parents ever admit that life is anything but one blissful moment after another with their children? If they're honest, they will. As much as we would like to proclaim homeschooling's benefits and see our children's lives through "rose-colored glasses," we must also attest to our children's sinful behavior that causes disruption in the home and unproductive homeschooling days. Children easily demonstrate sinful actions of selfishness, greed, jealousy, and other undesirable characteristics that require daily correction and training in righteousness. Like management in the workplace, wise homeschooling parents must allow for down times in academic productivity to address the more important issue of character building in their child.

Amazingly, there are many similarities between our relationship with our children and God's relationship with us. As His children, we demonstrate actions that disrupt God's family of believers. With selfishness, pride, and rebellion, we fail to be productive in accomplishing God's will. Daily, God must discipline us and provide the instruction in righteousness that will develop Christ-like character. Patiently, He continues to perfect the work He has begun in us, so our lives will bear much fruit for His name's sake (Philippians 1:6).

Are the frustrations of homeschooling tempting you to give up teaching your children? Do you find yourself taking one step forward and two steps backwards? Just as God gently corrects and teaches you in your spiritual walk, allow the Lord to help you show that same patience toward your children. Although your days may seem unfulfilling, you are giving your child the exact education he needs. "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 15:58).

Lord, how difficult it is to stay on track in our homeschooling! Remind me that we are learning more than just academics and show me how to deal with my children's true needs. In Jesus' name, Amen.


Yeah....let me just say that even though it is a lot of hard work and sometimes, okay, a lot of times, I wonder if we are doing right for Anna by doing this, I would also think that this is a wake up call. I get it Lord, I really do get it!! So, even though it is hard work. Even though we are not the ideal homeschool family. Even though we could really use the money if I went back to work full-time. Even though Anna has a learning disability. Even though it costs a lot. Even though it is time consuming...Even though a lot of other reasons. I get it. Homeschooling is the right fit for out family and God has made that evidently clear to me. So, its back to fall planning I go. No more delays. No more excuses. No more wondering. Its just planning time. That's all. Time to work on the wonderful opportunity given to us.

Bath Time?

In the length of time it takes for me to take a bath in the morning, my daughter had managed to transform the living room into what I call the Barbie circus!! LOL. Here is what you see upon entering the living room:

As you can see, Barbie is the ring leader. She is all decked out in her riding clothes of course. ;-) Can't you see the boots?

Then we have this little number. Its called horse balancing.

What? You can't see it? Here's a better angle:

Don't you wish you could bend over a horse like this and still have a huge smile? I know I sure do. (NOT!!) LOL!!

Oh and in case you are wondering what's under the blankets by the carriage, its all 4 of the kids. Apparently the circus is not good for their eyes or something like that. Either that or it was bed time. Take your pick.

Happy 5th Family Day

Here is what your Daddy posted on his Face*book account:

5 years ago today my wife and I completed a journey that changed our lives forever. The change brought an indescribable joy and love to our house that would remain forever. This joy and love came in the form of a very special little 3 year old girl that holds the key and reins to our hearts to this day and will continue to do so until we pass away. We have been through so much as a family but through our trials our love for each other has gotten stronger. The judge may have sounded the gavel to start this family but God's intentions for you were clear since the day you were born. We love and cherish you more and more with each passing day. Happy Family Day, Anna!

Here is what I posted like an hour later:

Today is our Family Day Celebration. Happy Family Day Anna!! We love you very much!! We didn't need a judge to tell us that you were meant to be our daughter!!

Here are the comments left by all the people who love you:

Aunt Natashia said, "We are blessed that God put you in our lives. You are very loved and I could not imagine the family without you!"

***Note....if you all have comments to add, please let me know and I will add them. I plan on printing this post and keeping them for Anna to read. Thanks all.

Superficial

I've had it with superficial people! I can't stand people who do not want to include me for who I am. I don't get it. Please, don't include me in things out of obligation. I'd rather not go at all and YES, I CAN tell when you are superficial. I do not need the stress in my life. I need people who know who I am and love me anyways! I need someone to include me (and Anna) cause you like to spend time with us. I do NOT like to be an after-thought of your plans. The oh yeah, we need to call Nicole and see if she wants to go long after you've made plans or started makes me mad. Just don't call at all. I've had it.

What I do need is someone who likes me for who I am and what I am about. I am not going to change to please you. I want someone who will go shopping with me, knowing I can't buy the $30 pair of shoes on the rack. I will be the one hunting down the $5 and under clearance. Anything over $10 is usually out of our price range. I want someone who like to spend time at the park and do other free or nearly free things. The play areas in restaurants are good too. I need someone who will call and say "Hey! How's it going?" and truly want to know. I need someone who is true to their word! I need a real friend, not superficial. Superficial people annoy me!

There, now I've said my piece about it all. If you are my really friend, you can ignore this. If you are a superficial person, then stop it. I need only true friends.

Sincerely Me!

No More Sundays....

Yes, ALREADY! They stopped doing it after I've only done two because we lost too many people and we need every possible person on the floor right now at all times. SO...there is not any more Sunday night work. UGH!! I was really counting on that for extra hours I need. We really needed the money from it. Oh well. Nothing I can do. It will all work out in the end.

Starting to look for homeschool items for the fall. Glad I bought a bunch early. We already have history, reading and Bible. Still trying to get Math, Science, Cursive handwriting and Spelling. I may use an eclectic mix of workbooks this year from the store that are all going to be 90% off (starting June 7th). Yes, its not ideal, but at this point it is very practical and affordable for us. It won't hurt. We just will work through them like any other curriculum. I think it will work and that we truly can do it. Spelling I will buy what I always have...it works well and she loves it. It is only $20 for the year anyhow.

My mom has had a friend visit from Canada for the past week. She is very quiet and seems almost shy, but she has known me since i was a baby, so I have been trying to make sure to get over to my mom's a few times. I hope they had a good visit.

Alright, I better close for now. Anna just looked over and said this looked very long. I told her it was still short, but its okay. Have a good weekend all. And for those of you who may still read....THANKS!

Working Sundays

I am now working on Sundays placing orders at the store I'm at. It is okay, but I think Anna is taking it hard. Here is the note I found on the kitchen table when I got home:

"Hi Mom. I got in trouble and Daddy wasn't kidding."

I then go to my room to change and there is the following note:

"I miss you Mom. I Love you. Love your girl Anna."

Now, don't get me worng, this is just the first week to work Sunday, but I think it was hard on her. What do you think? I think she will get used to it, but we have had a lot of work changes in the last couple of weeks. I now only get to put her to bed on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights. Thursday, Friday and Sunday I am at work at bedtime. Saturday's it really depends. I feel bad, but I must work to pay bills and put food on the table. I'll have to make sure to give her extra loving tomorrow. This too shall pass.

What to do?

I have some big decisions to make as far as homeschool groups in the fall.

One group we are in, I absolutely LOVE the people, but the only thing we can do with them is a field trip once a month. I also do that groups Mom's Night Out. I have been really unable to participate in the groups Family Night, because I work. I am thinking about changing it for the fall though and making it so I can not work on Monday nights. It may be better that way.

The other group we are in is changing to every Friday. I would have to teach and be in a committee of some sort and we would be committed to being there every single Friday, which I really am hesitant about. It is a good group, although very large. They also do good field trips once a month. Anna is aiming for this group.

Right now I am leaning toward the group with people I love and changing my work schedule to no Mondays so we can participate fully. Guess I know what my heart wants to do, but I'm having a battle with my brain. I've been doing that a lot lately. Hmmm. I need to stop that. It would make life easier if I'd stop thinking and go with what my heart says. LOL!!