Hard....

Short but sweet...I know it's been nearly a year....

I know that I have been having good evaluations, but this has been the most trying of years emotionally.  I do the best I can and yet still feel defeated.  Lots of strange things happening that I can't discuss.  Please pray for this to pass....It's hard to deal with.  Thanks.

Been a While

Well, I know it has been a while.  This school year has been a whirlwind.  I am teaching Kindergarten this year and have 5 kids that I had last year.  It has been interesting to see the growth over the last year and a half.  In September we had a school fire and we put together a new school in only a weeks time.  The high school was building  a new building that was scheduled to be done a few weeks later, so the construction company put in overtime and had it ready in a week.  As they were moving out of the old building, we were moving in.  It has been quite a year.  We are teaching with virtually no curriculum.  It has been challenging.  Thankfully most of the teacher's guides are online, but that does not help with student books.  The other challenging thing has been the fact that we didn't get to take most of our item from the half of the building that was saved due to smoke damage.  For some teachers it has been harder than others.  I was okay with it, since I didn't have as much, but teachers who had been there 20 plus years and lost everything, well, that was a grieving process.  We are working through it and we will be better for it in the long run.  I am thankful that the fire was on the weekend and no one was hurt.

This past weekend my baby girl turned 13.  I officially have a teenager in the house.  We also have celebrated 10 birthdays with my beautiful girl.  I am so lucky and blessed to have such a beautiful young lady.  I love her so much and know that God placed her with us for a reason.

Christmas is right around the corner and we are counting down the days.  Have you started your shopping yet?  Not one thing has been bought in this house.  Nothing!!  I'm usually almost done by now, but I have no desire to shop.  LOL!  We are going small this year as we have been saving for a substantial trip next year and we don't have as much to put towards it.  The trip though will be a once in a lifetime experience.  I'd tell you where we are going, but it is going to be a surprise for my beautiful girl.  She will not know where we are going until we get there.  LOL!!  That oughta be a fun 2 days in the car.

Well, I guess that is all.  Just wanted to get on and update.  Thanks to those that still read.  I know my posting is very sporadic.  Thanks all and if I don't get back on between now and then, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!  :-)

School's out....sort of...

Well, I did it.  I survived my first year back in teaching after being out for 7 years.  It was by God's Grace that I made it.  I spent the majority of this year sick and it was very hard and trying and I almost quit quite a few times.  It was hard on me emotionally, physically and mentally.  Being sick and my emotional well-being are how Satan has been trying to attack me.  It's hard.  I keep on and kept on getting struck down.  Thankfully, after we got rid of the mold in my bathroom, which seems to be a big part of why I was so sick, I haven't had all the issues with breathing that I usually do.  Dust will still get me down, but nothing has been as bad as the mold did.

Anna just finished up her 5th grade year in school as well, but unfortunately did not pass the state standardized test in science, so she has to go to summer school.  I am praying that she passes the objectives quickly, because then hopefully we will be done at the end of this week.  I was looking through old tests that are released on this subject and know for a fact that they have not covered all the concepts on the test.  Unfortunately for us, this test covers everything that she should have learned from Kindergarten on up through 5th grade.  And another unfortunate thing is that I never taught her science on a steady basis when we were home-schooling, so she did miss out on quite a bit.  We are going to practice as much as we can between now and Thursday and hopefully she will pass all the objectives on the end of week test.  Due to her being in summer school, I will also be teaching summer school in 1st grade, but only for one week.  If Anna still has to go, I will not keep teaching.  I need that break.

Health wise, I am only so-so.  I have been have a LOT of joint pain and weakness, overall tired feeling, headaches, muscles aches and stomach issues.  I am progressively getting worse, but I have decided that it may be due to a new medicine that I started a month ago.  I didn't really put two and two together until last night.  Symptoms are all there.  It makes me sad that it didn't work, but I'd rather not feel like I've been hit by a truck.  I'll be calling the doctor tomorrow to make sure, but pretty sure I'm getting off of it.  I've also been diagnosed with endometriosis in the last two weeks and will be starting a new shot for that.  Yes, it is rare to get it after a hysterectomy, but not impossible, since I still have my ovaries.  Apparently taking them out is not a cure all and it is highly likely that it will stay or come back, so the shot it is.  Sigh.  I can't seem to catch a break on this whole health thing.  I get tired of feeling lousy all the time, but also know that it is just something or something else lately that I have to deal with.  I get the treatment that the Doctors want to give me and then pray it works.  I try very hard not to let the health issues get me down, but sometimes its hard.

I guess that's all for now.  Hoping that this week goes by quickly and that Anna is done with Summer school after this week.  We both need a good break.  If nothing else we have a good trip to Dallas coming the end of the month.  Ready for that break.  

No more homeschool

Sad day for me, but I have officially removed myself from most homeschooling groups.  I have signed a new contract for next year, so I decided it was time.  We loved our homeschooling years and will never regret going broke to stay with Anna and do what we thought was best for her.  We met a lot of great people on the way and had lots of fun, but it is officially on to a new chapter in our lives.  Anna is doing good in school.  I will teach somewhere between PK and 2nd grade next year.  Exciting and scary all at the same time.

New Year Update

First of all, today is my hubby's birthday.  He is 39 years young today.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!  I love you and the tank looks great.  (He redid his aquarium today with sand instead of gravel.)


Second, I am clear of pneumonia.  Praise the Lord my lungs are completely clear and my breathing is back to normal.  I am still taking 2 breathing treatments a day, but I can handle that.  I have been back to work for a week and a half.  Besides being exhausted, which is perfectly normal for me after a long day of work, I have suffered no ill effects from the pneumonia.  I am so glad.  On the down side, I was docked for 3.5 days of pay.  That is going to hurt, but we are not worried about it. 


Third, I had a doctor visit with my RA doc.  Anna and I waited for over an hour past my appointment time to get back.  UGH!!  I can't stand long waits, but unfortunately, I can't go at another time right now because I can't ask off work, since I have no days left.  The best I can do is leave early.  So...long waits it is.  The doctor agreed with me the the meds I had been on are not a good fit for me and for the time being I am off of them.  I will not go back on them as they were lowering my immune system too much and were part of the reason I have basically been sick since September.  I am glad that he agreed.  I will however remain on the Plaquenil and pain pills and we will add in a different new medicine at a later time.  He and I both felt that since I have been doing okay on the Plaquenil alone that we would let it be.  I am glad he agreed, because I took myself off the other meds right before Christmas.  Now the only odd thing was that he knew I had been in the hospital and I KNOW for a fact that I never told him.  Weird, but okay. 


I guess that's all for now.  I am praying that the worst of my sickness for the year is over.  I had the flu and pneumonia shot before I left the hospital, so hopefully that will help.  By not being on the other medicine, I am praying that my immune system rebounds.  I hope everyone has a very Happy New Year.  It may be 3 weeks into the year, but its still Christmas in our house.  I am not in a rush to take it down, so if you come over, don't be shocked.  LOL!!  I hope to check back in soon.  Take care.  God Bless!

Happy (cough) New (cough) Year (cough cough)

Happy New Year.  I brought the new year in with a bang.  I was sick for the entire Christmas Break with a head cold.  I went to the Doctor this past Monday with a fever and a cough and was diagnosed with Bronchitis again and prescribed antibiotics.  I ran fever through Wednesday and coughed and coughed and coughed!!  On Thursday night, I ended up with very labored breathing and by Friday early morning we were on our way yet again to the ER for some extra help.  I assumed I would get a few breathing treatments and some steroids and be on my way.  Boy was I wrong.  It turns out I had pneumonia and I was admitted for treatment.  They gave me IV antibiotics, two different kids and I received IV steroids for a day as well.  I was released today after nearly 4 days at the hospital.  Yeah, happy new year, huh?  Now I'm home, but I am not back to work until next week.  I was released for Monday.  We will see how it goes.  Praying for a complete healing and the ability to get through the rest of the school year without incident. 

More Sleet, Snow and COLD!!

Ok, I've decided that we have had enough snow, sleet and cold for a long time.  It's been just about two weeks since our last round of cold and ice storms and here we are again with another.  It was mostly sleet and ice.  School dismissed at 12:00pm today and the Lubbock teachers were allowed to leave at 11:30am.  As soon as I had coverage in my room, I rounded up Anna and we made the slow treacherous journey home.  A drive that usually takes us 45 minutes took us almost 2 hours today.  Not too bad and certainly could have been longer, but I HATE driving on ice.  Completely hate it!!  It's scary how many people passed me at unsafe speeds.  The roads were almost all covered in ice.  We drove 20-25 MPH all the way home.  It wasn't until we were 5 minutes from Lubbock that we could drive faster, 30-35 MPH in town.  The sad part is that all that was slush in Lubbock has now frozen over and will probably stay that way for the next 2 days or so.  Sunday it should all melt down again and be okay.  I'm glad I have a job, but having it so far out is not so fun, especially in this kind of weather.  I'm actually praying that we have classes cancelled tomorrow morning and that I do NOT have to drive this again tomorrow.  If I do, it will be about 2 hours to drive in and about 2 hours to drive back and I will have to stop at a gas station at some point because I used more than I planned today trying to thaw off the car.  Sigh.  Just complaining, I guess.

On a plus side, my evaluation was done this week and I did really well.  I am pleased, especially since I've been out of the classroom for so long.  I obviously still have some teaching in me.  LOL!  I never really stopped teaching, since I homeschooled for so long.  I miss it a lot and when I asked Anna, she said she misses parts of it.  I think she really just likes that there are other kids around her all day everyday.  She too hates the long commute every morning, but we are in it for the long haul this year.  Who knows what next year will bring. 

Guess that's all for now.  Need to wind down with some gaming time and get to bed.  Night all. 

Brrrr....

Baby it's cold outside!!!  I am ready for normalcy.  Anna and I have been in the house for two full days.  Tomorrow will be three.  My initial plan right now is to drive up to Post tomorrow afternoon and spend the night in a hotel.  This is of course all dependent on the roads.  We are expecting 2-3 inches of snow tonight and they are advising all of us to stay off the roads.  Praying that we don't have to miss another day.  Anna and I missed on Friday because of the weather.  We got up at 5am with the intention of going in.  We were in the car by 6am and trying to be on the road by 6:20am, but we just didn't get there.  The roads in Lubbock were okay, but when we got to the highway we travel to get to school, I could not keep my windows clear of ice.  The sleet was immediately sticking to the windows, despite my defrost being on high and my wipers going full blast.  We had pulled over 3 times before we hadn't even gotten to the prison, which is about 10 minutes out, and I just could not keep them clear.  To top it off, the highway was icy and it was dark.  Black ice and dark do not mix, so I decided it was in our best interest to turn around and go back home.  I spent the better part of an hour after we got back trying to find a sub for my class to no avail.  There was not one that was able to go in at all.  My aide was already out because her daughter was sick and she also could not get a sub.  My class ended up getting split between the other three teachers.  I felt awful and cried for over 2 hours because I felt so bad.  Using my last day of sick leave because of weather was not what I had planned.  I was very upset about that, but then the weather got worse and I was very glad that I was at home and didn't have to drive in the worsening conditions on the road.  We have stayed home since then.  J got sent home at around 1:30 to 2:00pm.  I was glad to have everyone safe and sound at home.  I am also very glad that we have a working heater. 

Tonight, the sleet is back and we are expecting more precipitation.  I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but I will have my eyes watching the news and checking things fully before I drive that way.  I'm hoping it'll clear up a bit, but not counting on it.  We can't afford for me to be docked a full days pay for missing, so here's hoping....

Overwhelmed

Been feeling a lot overwhelmed lately and like I don't belong in the classroom.  Today was a particularly rough day.  I have random thoughts come into my head and make it hard for me to believe that I belong in the classroom.  Sigh.  Kids have also bee off the wall crazy this week with Halloween and all.  I tried to keep our "Halloween" related activities to a minimum.  I changed books we were reading, found some of my own activities, etc.  We did make masks, but that's more for fun.  We also did lots with pumpkins, but other than that, I really tried not to do too much. 

But I digress, back to the reason I started this post...I'm having a particularly rough year.  I know part of it's because I received no training from the district at all.  The other part is because I am relying solely on other people to plan lessons and since we aren't really ahead, it makes it hard.  They have a curriculum that the school adopted, but other than some of the literature from it and the tests for beginning, middle and the end of the year, it does not get used.  I can see why, as the literature parts are great, but the rest is not really easy to use.  You can't really take great stories and make a curriculum out of them.  So, since we are all "on the same page" or doing the same thing, we meet every Tuesday to plan.  I can't possibly get everything I need on my own to make the curriculum work in such a short amount of time, so I just get a few things and "share" with other teachers things that belong to them.  It gets old borrowing all the time....really old.  I can't afford to buy everything that they have though, so I have no other options.

My aide is great too, but I get the feeling that I am not using her as much as I should be, but there we are back to the no training thing, so I really don't know what I am supposed to be doing.  The other teachers always say to let the aide do it.  The aide is there to help me in my opinion, not do all my work for me.  She does a lot for me, copying, laminating, cutting out, crowd control, etc.  I do not feel like adding to her responsibilities is fair. 

And my number one source of being overwhelmed right now is the nagging fear in the back of my head related to our past.  :-(
I can not get this horrible thought out of my head that I do not belong in the classroom and something terrible is going to come up and I will be fired on the spot and not be allowed to teach ever again.  Sigh.  It's not a good feeling.  I don't know why it keeps coming back, but I've had enough.  Just the thoughts put tears in my eyes and that's easy to do lately. 

Alright, its bedtime.  Will post more tomorrow, but falling asleep here typing.  Prayers still very much appreciated.  This is hard for me still.  Thanks all. 

Wall-E and Anna

I searched the house for Wall-E last night at bedtime and couldn't find him. He's usually on my bed or in his bed and I just say good night. Last night I could not find him anywhere. I searched in Anna's room, since she had a sleepover l...ast night and I couldn't see him. I looked in the playroom where the girls were sleeping and couldn't see him there. I looked the house over and finally went back to the playroom. Looked a little closer and there was Wall-E sleeping with Anna under the covers. It was too cute not to capture, so I tried to take a pic with my phone and that was a no go, so I quickly went to grab the "real" camera and here's what I got. Not bad for being taken in the dark. I was praying the flash didn't wake up the girls!!

 

First pic shows how cute they looked...

 

 

Second pic shows all three of them all the way across...

 

 

 

  I am so glad I got these pictures and that I didn't wake the girls in my attempt to capture this.  The flash on my phone went off 3 times and them 3 for the camera.  LOL!  Love that I came across this before bed last night.

Birthday Blessings...

Well, the day started out like any regular Friday, we got up and went the 45 minute drive to work.  I worked, not expecting anything, but my dear hubby took care of that.  I had a birthday card in my box by my 10:15am break.  J had called the school and asked them to do something.  Apparently this prompted them to realize that they didn't have any emergency info at the school for me, so I in turn had to fill out more paperwork.  LOL!  I decided that I just did not want a PB&J sandwich at lunch, so I went to Sonic and brought me a meal back. At this point in the day I was still feeling pretty down, as I was feeling lonely and sad that I hadn't gotten so much as a Happy Birthday from anyone at school, not that it's their fault, no one knew.  But still down just the same.  I did feel incredibly blessed to get a card from the front office as I wasn't expecting it.  Still, my brain doesn't always think good thoughts....

Now after I got home, things started looking up.  My mom had done another load of laundry for me and had made me cupcakes for my birthday.  That was nice.  I love the laundry help I've gotten this week.  It's been great!!

We then went to lunch at Red Lobster and enjoyed it.  Waiter a little odd and forgetful, but good food and we had fun.  There, J gave me a Kohl's gift card and an ITunes gift card.  The guys who work there sung me "Happy Birthday."  I did NOT want to be embarrassed.  LOL!!  Oh well.  Then it was off to my MIL's and a short visit there.  She gave me a purse I have been wanting forever, cause I'm not about to buy me a purse myself.  LOL!  She also gave me some money to spend on myself, so I'm thinking I'm going to place a Kohl's online order.  I need a bunch of stuff, plus I have a 20% off coupon to go with their sales.  I am going to think on it over night.  LOL! 

Anna made me a little note and now I'm going to bed.  LOL!!  It is the 26th already and I've been up for hours, so I deserve it.  Thanks for all who made my day special.  I loved reading all the posts and well wishes.  It made my night.  (Yes night....didn't read most till just a little bit ago.  Night all and thank you!!

Birthday and New Job

Well, my birthday is tomorrow, and with the new job, where really no one knows me, I really don't think I will even get so much as a Happy Birthday, unless the cute little boy in the class across the hall remembers that we have the same birthday.  (It could happen, but doubtful.)  Oh and to top it off, I will be eating a PB&J sandwich for lunch, since I don't get paid till after 9am tomorrow morning.  I used the little money I had left to put money on Anna's lunch account.  Why on earth the child wants cafeteria food is beyond me.  It always looks nasty and smells worse to me, but, she wants it, so I put money on her account.  She will be having her first cafeteria meal tomorrow.  I fully expect her to be starving by the time she makes it to my room at the end of the day. 

So, I guess this is something I will miss about working my old job.  There was almost always someone who made at least something for your birthday and at least wished you a happy one.  Glad we are going out as a family tomorrow after work.  I'm going to need it by then.  Location will be determined based on what I feel like after work.  LOL!  I have one restaurant that I like, but don't care to be embarrassed by their birthday antics, so we will likely not go there, BUT we will go somewhere. 

I guess that's all for now.  I see an alert where my momma wished me a Happy Birthday on FB, so I'm going to make myself happy and go read it.  I'll be back, as apparently this is an outlet for me.  Talk later.....

Do you miss your old job?

A co-worker today asked me if I missed my other job and if I was glad I went back into teaching.  I told here there are pros and cons to each...I miss the people I used to work with, but I had been there forever.  I like teaching, but right now, it still feels like the first year all over again and I still feel like I am missing info I need to make this a most successful year, but overall, I don't think its too bad.  We certainly couldn't be at a better school for getting back into the swing of things.  I really like the staff and for the most part, I feel like things are okay.  I wished I had started earlier in the year, like oh you know, with the other teachers, but I think it will be okay.  Still not sure about a lot of stuff, but I have come a long way. 

They are doing great with Anna and she seems to be adjusting pretty good.  She loves being around other kids all day long, but really does not like our early mornings, the drive and having to go to bed by 8:30-9:00pm, but overall, I think she likes it.  She really does not like homework. She also does not like the fact that if she gets a bad grade, I make her correct it.  But again overall she likes it.

I couldn't ask for a better position.  I think God truly knows what he is doing, even if we don't.  I am trying to rely on him for strength to get through this year.  I certainly can't do it on my own....

Whirlwind...Timeline

Ok, I digress....I was keeping this timeline so I could post it about a month or so ago and I just keep adding to it instead.  This is the ups and downs of me getting back into teaching after being out for 7 years.  I would not change anything about those years.  Staying home with my daughter was the best thing I could ever do and I will never regret it, but for now we are in a new season in life.  So, without further adieu, my whirlwind teaching timeline.  (Warning: I get emotional in parts....deal with it, or quit reading!  LOL)


Teaching Timeline:

June 28, 2013-Get idea in my head that I might just want to teach again.
July 2, 2013-Apply to renew teaching certificate (Thanks to sister)
July 5, 2013-Fingerprinting for Teaching Certificate
July 8, 2013-Fingerprinting and background check complete (while I continue to wait impatiently to see if they are going to renew my license or not)
July 9, 2013-Check status in morning and realize that I am a licensed teacher once again, attempt to homeschool Anna and throw in the towel after one subject.  Apply to two different districts by days end....
July 18th, 2013-Find out one district is only waiting on my references.  Realize that it will be at least August before they can get the reference on my former principal.  Work education sale at work.  Come home to an application for another school district around here. 
July 19th, 2013-Fill out application for other district and photocopy required parts.
July 20, 2013-Mail off third application
July 22, 2013-Get online and see plenty of jobs that would be my "ideal" job have shown up, but then realize that they are not available to apply to on the application link yet. Wonder if August will ever get here.  (I'm not a very patient person when it comes to waiting.)
August 1, 2013-Talk to previous principal (boss) and ask her to be a reference.  Had to have her, since I have taught before.  Get her e-mail address. Talk to LISD district office about my application, as two references have not come back in.  Come to find out they ONLY do e-mail references now.  YIKES!  Panic sets in.  About 4:40pm, I call back and a nice lady named Stacy in HR is able to add the two missing e-mails and resend my reference forms out to those people.
August 3, 2013-Receive a phone call from a school about positions in both kindergarten and first grade. Offer me an interview on the 4th.  I accept.  Interview coming up.  (You do realize that the 3rd is a Saturday and the 4th is a Sunday.  These types of things just don't happen in schools.  God's timing is impeccable.)  
August 4, 2013-Interview lasts about 25 minutes.  It is nerve racking.  I interviewed with 5 people; principal, asst. principal, and 3 teachers already in there teaching kindergarten.  It was for the kindergarten position.  I left not knowing how it went.  They have more interviews and then the pick the one that they think will work best for them.  They then contact their district office and then district office contacts the person they chose.  It's all in God's Hands.  Always has been, always will be.
August 11, 2013-Feeling down.  New teachers went back on Friday in the district I wanted.  I didn't go back and the jobs available are dwindling.  Maybe I wasn't cut out for this?  Maybe I was reading between the lines wrong?  Disappointed at best.
August 18, 2013-After contacting the principal, head of student services and the superintendent of the school district about enrolling Anna, we decide that we will keep trying to get a teaching job, but quit fighting tooth and nail to get Anna enrolled in school.  If God truly wants me there, he will provide a place for her as well and in his timing.  We will continue to homeschool until things open up.  If it is God's will, the doors will open. 
August 20, 2013-Looked on a local districts site that I had no intention of applying at and they have two positions open in grades I would love, kindergarten and first.  I stayed up till 10:30pm filling out the application in full and getting it turned in. 
August 21, 2013-Application is finished and all turned in.  Its done.  Not in my hands.
August 27, 2013-School has been in for 2 days.  I had a moment this morning where I almost packed Anna up and took her down to the school to say test her and find a place for her NOW!  It has somewhat passed now.
August 28, 2013-I received a phone call for an interview from Hart ISD.  I never even applied there.  They received my name and number from someone else.  I would accept, if it wasn't 1 and 1/2 hours away.  It is a very tempting offer, but all my money would go to gas to get there and back.  Driving 3 hours a day is not do-able.
August 28, 2013-Applied to Post on a new Pre-K position that was just added.  Chances of getting it are slim to none.
August 29, 2013-Called for an interview from Post.  I can't believe it.  Interview was more of an I will tell you about the school, and will you accept type of thing.  Went to district office and met Superintendent.  Met other teachers, saw room that could be mine.  I accepted.  I start Tuesday, September 3, 2013.
August 30, 2013-Filled out all the paperwork, worked in my room, signed a contract and enrolled Anna for a new school year.  I can't believe that this is happening.  I also worked in my room for a brief amount of time.  Had to go to my other job, so I did not get to stay long.  Anna is scared and excited at the same time, as am I.
August 31, 2013-Begin preparing for my new school year.  It's really hard to prepare a classroom and work another job.  Especially when the classroom is 45 minutes away.  I am starting to see reality.  I have a class list, and the other teachers decorated my door and placed names down for me on desks and in lockers.
September 1, 2013-Had another bad dream about all of this last night.  Nerves are taking over.  Need to find peace in God.  That's sometimes really hard for me to do.  We have been through so much and times have been trying.  Feel like I'm doing the wrong thing and just want to go back to my comfort zone.  This job is certainly not that.  J reassures me that I can do this and it is the right thing.  I need to stop dwelling on all the bad stuff and focus on the good.  Lord, please help me.  I printed out some color sheets on the topics we are studying.  It's not ideal, but I need something to get me by until I can get settled in.  Starting the new school year a week late and relying on the help of others is very hard for me emotionally.  I have had to humble myself and accept the help. 
September 3, 2013-First day was okay.  I am all kinds of emotions right now.  Not sure I'm cracked up to be a teacher anymore.
September 4, 2013-Today was a little bit better.  Still uneasy.  This is a big change.
September 12, 2013-Getting sick.  I've been here less than 2 weeks.  I can't call in yet.
September 13, 2013-Sicker than a dog.  Called in to both jobs.  Feel really bad about calling in.  Ran fever and chills all night long.  Went to the doctor.  Bronchial and throat infection.  It's knocked me down bad.
September 14, 2013-Called in to work again.  I am still so sick. 
September 15, 2013-Starting to feel better.  Still weak and light-headed.  But getting there.  I was pretty sick.  I don't usually get knocked down so hard.  Two jobs is starting to get to me.  Only two more weeks left.  I can do this. 
September 16, 2013-Back to teaching today.  Starting to feel better.
September 23, 2013-Sick again.  I need some rest so I can get well.  Oh well, back to work.
September 24, 2013-So tired.  Only 4 days left at Mardel.  I love working there, but I can not do both.  Too hard for me.
September 26, 2013-Missed lunch with co-workers today because of breathing treatments.  I can't seem to catch a break.
September 27, 2013-Called in to both jobs again.  Spent entire morning at the ER.  I could not get my asthma under control.  Ended up with a steroid shot, new antibiotics and a steroid dose pack. I also received two breathing treatments in there.  Hopefully I can get well after all this.  I am off work till Monday.
September 28, 2013-Missed my last day at Mardel.  I stopped by to turn in my keys.  They gave me some gift cards and good-bye cards.  Bought some stuff for my classroom.  So grateful for them, but feel bad that I couldn't work my last two days there. 

Life

Summer is coming, though not really for us.  We fell further behind in what I consider a normal school routine and we will be schooling all summer long again.  We will take one week off for horse camp, the first week in June, and another week off for my vacation and Family Day, the third week in June.  There are no other scheduled times off.  We are trying very hard to keep on grade level, but it doesn't always happen.  I will be talking with A's developmental specialist on her next appointment to see what they recommend as far as math.  We are still struggling with that, despite my best efforts to make it easier.

We are on the search for a new church home.  That is an undertaking.  We have a million and one churches in this area and finding the right fit for our family is hard.  It has to meet the needs of all three of us and not just any one person.  We are looking for a spirit-filled, Bible believing church with a good youth program and a good ladies ministry would be great as well.  Should be easy right?  Well, its not.  We have been to a few, but nothing has just pulled us in and said that this is home...at least not yet.  We will get there.

Jeremy's new job has been great.  He actually can have family emergencies and can tend to them without the fear of losing his job.  He has a great boss and he truly has a great job.

I have recently become assistant manager over the store I work at.  I am having a hard time with the transition.  I feel the need to try and fix things and make them right all the time, and I still want to do floor sets and help out in education.  I'm hoping that as time goes on I will learn how to rotate between departments better.  I have no doubt that this is where I'm supposed to be, but it is hard for me to adjust. 

As far as my health, I try to deal with things on a day-to-day basis.  I can't always do what I need to and that was part of my decision in switching roles at work.  My RA has started going downhill and I think that is partly because it is getting worse, and partly because I can't take NSAIDS any longer due to internal bleeding.  I didn't notice a difference right away, but it just gradually is getting worse.  I feel like I have no control over my days and feeling, because I really don't.  Random things will cause the most extreme pain now.  That's all I want to say about that though. 

I guess that's all for now.  I'm not much of an updater on here, but there also is never much to update.  Take care for those who still read.  Prayers always welcome.  Thanks.

How can you tell....

How can you tell if it is just pre-teen hormones, laziness or seriously a child with autism just doesn't get it?  How can you tell if it is time to throw in the towel or seek outside professional help?  How can you tell what kind of help your child needs if you can't figure it out for yourself?  How can you tell someone that you feel like a horrible mother when you can't figure out how to help your own child succeed in learning?  How can you tell if the whole world is falling apart?  How can you tell everyone who thinks you are strong and a super woman that you are hurting inside?  How can you tell them that you are lost in this fight to desperately help your child?  How can you tell someone who truly doesn't understand what its like to constantly have to re-train them over and over and over again with the same thing and still it doesn't sink in?  How can you tell them that your heart is hurting?  How can you tell.....

Christmas

How is it that Christmas has become so commercialized?  I love my job, but when we hit a major holiday like this, sometimes I wished I didn't work retail.  UGH!  Even at a Christian book store, the customers are all about the gift.  We will be having a much smaller Christmas at our house this year and in a way I am very glad.  I am tired of the commercialism of the whole world.  Its not about bigger and better items.  Christmas is about family and Jesus and spending time together.  I hope others realize this and spend the season celebrating with family and friends.  On the plus side, we have our Christmas lights up and I absolutely love the glow of the tree lights.  I'll try and post pictures on here soon.

Re-Hashing Old Experiences

My dear hubby applied for a job at the Police Department.  Everything would be fine and dandy, but they want to know everything about you from the time you were 17 on.  Houses, family members, groups you belong to, convictions (from traffic violations to anything else,) cars, insurance, bank accounts, debts, facebook, etc.  Also there is places for things like we have been through in the hellish times of our life that he will have to include.  I am not so sure this is the job for him anymore.  Having to list all that out and re-hash all those experiences will not be pleasant.  Sigh.  I'm not sure how this is going to go.  I never thought that all that would come up again, and here it is.  All for a job that I thought I wanted him to have.  :-(  I'm not sure I'm all cut out for this. 

One Year

We have now officially been in our house for one year.  So glad to have a house, but sometimes wonder if we did the right thing by buying a house.  It has been a struggle.  Getting the house was not the struggle, but repairing things that break down in and around a house is challenging.  We have repaired a fallen fence (like a month after we moved in), had the electric box outside replaced and now we are having plumbing issues.  It seems as if we might keep Drano in business!   Neither one of us in very handy, but we sure try, but this bathtub we have might cost us a fortune. The drain gets clogged after one week.  One week.  REALLY!!  I can't buy Drano once a week just to keep the drain clear.  That is ridiculous.  But, short of paying an arm and a leg for a plumber, which is next to impossible right now, we will continue to use Drano once a week. (But not till I get paid, so for this week, we just have to deal with water to our ankles.) 

In other news, Anna is working on schooling with me.  After going all summer long, we took one week off and then started right in on 5th grade work.  (4th grade math)  She is loving it and we are making good progress.  We are still behind in math, but she is mostly remembering what we have been studying.  We have our days, like one day this last week she forgot how to tell time to the hour, which we have been working on since Kindergarten.  She has known that for a long time, but it was just one of those things that we had to re-learn.  She does love horse club.  I wished I could pay for her to do it more than twice a month, but it just isn't possible.  Too expensive.  I also need to find her an orthodontist.  That girl is going to need braces.

I'm still working at the same ol' place.  I'm not exactly happy there right now.  There is a lack of authority there and we certainly need a take charge kind of person.  Oh and to top it all off, the person I wanted to be in our dept I was told couldn't and now the girl they put in will be leaving.  I so just want to say that I was right, but it won't serve any purpose.  I am currently waiting on the results of an MRI I had last week as well.  I sure wish I knew why they ran it.  I will be carrying my phone with me tomorrow at work.  I need to hear from them tomorrow.  Until then, I just worry about what it could be.  I try not to worry too much, but there's not a lot one can do.  At least I worked yesterday and that took my mind off it for a while.  I have been having several health issues lately, and I am trying to get some answers.

J's job is questionable, as always.  His bosses seem to make up rules to suit themselves and then write you up.  They have a common goal to make life miserable for everyone but themselves.  I am hoping that J won't have to be there too much longer, but its hard to look for a job when the one you have emotionally exhausts you, which is sometimes worse than physical exhaustion.

I guess that's all.  Still hard to believe that we have lived in our house for one year.  Still have lots that I want to do with the house too.  As J says we have 29 more years to get it done.  LOL!!  It may take me that long to get it the way I want it.  Now, its off to search for Christmas and birthday ideas for Anna.  She doesn't NEED anything else and we are in an in-between stage for toys and such.  I'll be glad to accept ideas from anyone who may have them.  LOL!!  Take care all.

School Front and then some...

Well, Anna and I will begin school on Monday, if all goes as planned.  We will still be finishing up a bit of last years math, but then will move on.  She is doing mostly 5th grade work.  We will continue to use Building Spelling skills for spelling, Bob Jones Reading 5 will start our year for reading, but I am going to try and change us over to mostly book studies.  We are currently in the planning phases for the first book.  Saxon Math will continue to be our math for now, provided she learns how to copy over the problems correctly and keeps everything lined up.  I'm testing this out, and may switch.  We are still really struggling with math.  She has made great strides though and is progressing, but it is still a daily struggle.  For history and science, I am at a loss.  My time is limited and so are my resources.  We are slowly buying some history books to read, but soon enough we will have to incorporate more.  She will definitely know about the people in history, but as far as geography, well, that is not getting done like I want.  She does read a map, when needed.  We have two large wall maps in our den, but I still think she needs more. Science, well, if you count horse club as science, then she will be getting science twice a month, LOL!!  Those are two big barriers.  We only have so much time with my full time work and homeschool group activities.  I will have to keep searching for something.  It will all work out, just writing it all down. 

As for other stuff, work is okay.  Things are changing and not everything is nice.  I work and that's all fine and dandy, but working with people who lack work ethic and morals is hard.  We have mostly a good crew, but not all.  It is a very demanding job and sometimes it just drains me completely.  The other day was good though.  We have a lady who homeschools and she came in and she is always uplifting to other homeschool moms.  It is always so encouraging to hear her talk to other moms about homeschooling and it shows that she has a true passion for it.  The other day I told her that and she just was over-joyed and happy that I work there and that I know what product we have and where to find it.  She made my day and she told me I made hers and that it was such a blessing to have me there.  I wished there were more days like that.  I really needed that this week.  She was such an encouragement to me.  I certainly need to hear encouraging words everyday.  It helps me cope with the stresses of life.  It helps me to also realize that other homeschooling moms have struggles too, even if it isn't the same as mine. 

Health wise, I am doing better in some respects.  The hysterectomy was a life saver.  I am glad that I had it done.  My RA has its ups and downs.  I have new things with it that have been bothering me lately, but I am trying to deal with it the best I can.  I am hoping to see a new RA doctor in Odessa as I am not crazy about the one that I have been seeing.  He is not good at all.  (We have nick named him Dr. Quack as he did not treat me right until I had insurance.  He actually refused.  Sad, huh?!)  Anyhow, as much as I hate to drive to another city almost two hours away, I need someone who takes a personal interest in me as a person.  I have a life to lead and would like to lead it in the best way possible.

I guess that's all for now.  I have three girls running the house and it is almost shower time.  (Anna is having a sleep over.)  I will update again in a few weeks, after we start school and things return to an almost normal again.